What Kind of Porn Turns Women On?
By Jodie Gummow
8 April 2014
You might be surprised.
The never-ending debate about women and pornography has led to many assumptions about female sexual desire. A common perception depicted by the…
I just like you watching porn. You get soooooo excited it’s fun!
it had been one of those early spring days, spent lazily in Central Park.
Later that afternoon heading home, they paused at the entrance of the Greywacke arch near 79th & 5th.
He pulled her into Him, whispering an idea, as His eyes danced with delight.
I want to take you under the tunnel, where there are people walking just outside, and more walking just above.
While you surrender to Me in the darkness of the tunnel.
We might even be discovered..or heard..unless you keep still.
She looked at Him with caution… ’ and then?’ she warily asked.
' Don’t over think, just do.' He reminded her.
He held His outstretched hand to hers.
As they walked, He spoke ’ I want you to strip, lie on the filthy wet pavement, your feet up against he wall, exposed. I will kneel over your face and fuck your mouth deeply, without pause, without hesitation. Because you need degrading. And when we walk toward home, you in your finery, people will stop and stare. But they will never know what I do. That underneath all the silk, underneath all the satin is my perfect slut. ‘
She’s lucky to be allowed penetration while sucking her master’s cock.
- boundtightly ⇋ welltrainedbitch
Center of Attention
One of the appealing aspects of being a submissive is the attention that a Dom showers on their sub. It is often said that submissives require more attention and can be needier than the average person. This has been true in my experience but it is not necessarily a bad thing in the context of a D/s relationship. Indeed, it could be argued that the dependence a submissive feels on their Dom dovetails perfectly with the fact that at the heart of Dominance is a desire to be needed and looked to for support, guidance and security. In essence, the Dom needs to be needed. D/s is after all a symbiotic relationship between two people on many levels.
It has also been my observation that many submissives do not like being in the spotlight in any public sense and would rather slip into the background in a crowd rather the seek attention or adulation. Yet in private with their Dom, they are in point of fact very much in the spotlight. They are the sole focus of a Dominant’s attention, words and actions. The Dom’s world revolves around the sub for at least a time and the submissive revels in this attention and seeks still more in their efforts to serve and be pleasing. The glare of the white hot spotlight of their Dom is deeply appealing and gratifying to the submissive.
The term neediness is often used to describe a negative trait in a relationship, something that should be stamped out. And yet, in the context of a D/s relationship it is not always a bad thing at all. A Dom very much needs a submissive and a sub very much needs a Dom. Without the other, they cannot fulfill their desires or their destiny. They do not feel whole. However, if neediness is motivated by negative traits and emotions such as jealously, insecurity, or a fear of rejection, then neediness takes on a very negative connotation with consequent destructive impact on the relationship. It is always good to check your motives and guard against sabataging behaviors.
As a Dom, I like to be needed and I desire very much the attention and devotion that a submissive has to offer. I feed on that energy and return it in kind by devoting my full and undivided attention to my submissive in the form of acceptance, structure and loving control, giving her precisely what she needs in return. I can be just as needy as any submissive in my own way…it is simply expressed differently.
Where this all falls apart is when a so-called Dom enters into a D/s relationship under the belief that it is solely sexual in nature, seeking only the physical manifestations of BDSM without supporting the emotional and psychological aspects of the relationship. This is a recipe for disaster and heartbreak. A needy submissive might initially feel a sense of being accepted and supported during the sexual aspects of the relationship but will quickly find themselves beating their head and heart futilely against the proverbial cold brick wall of an emotionally distant or unavailable “Dom.” In the end, such a relationship will be frustrating and unfulfilling at best and more likely outright heartbreaking. Anyone contemplating entering a D/s relationship as a Dom needs to be aware of the emotional neediness that can be anticipated in such a relationship and be capable of and prepared to handle the awesome responsibility that goes with it. Similarly, a submissive should be just as aware of their level of neediness and ensure that the Dom they choose is both capable of and willing to support and nurture those needs.
A submissive opens their heart, mind and soul to their Dominant and hands them over in the belief that they will be controlled responsibly and treated gently and tenderly. You may have full permission to beat on a submissives’ ass but it is rightly expected that you will simultaneously hold their heart and emotions safely and tenderly.
This is the essence of D/s as I see it. It is a deeply trusting and interdependent relationship that takes extraordinary levels of care and responsibility to carry out successfully. It can be a very demanding and inwardly focussed relationship in which the Dom and sub place one another squarely in the center of each others’ universe, the center of each others’ attention. It is a lot of work and a lot of responsibility, but I would have it no other way.
Caption © For The Love of a Submissive, 2012
Image Credit Unknown